Lunatic Whispers

“Madness in great ones must not unwatched go” sang the bard. Some are born mad, some achieve madness, and some have madness thrust upon them. I fit in the first breed. I have a streak of madness in me... and I savour those splashes. In between I get some sparks of sanity too. I tried to bring in more sanity in my life, but then I got sick of it. Living a normal life, sticking to those rules and regulations.... Huh! soooo boring and suffocating!!! I have always felt that I am a misfit, and that I see things differently from others. I hate rules. I hate status. I hate getting orders. And I hate people judging me. With my tinge of insanity, I can fly free. No one dares to question me. “Ah,she! She’s a bit mad” sums up my actions. And I am safe. They don’t try to understand me. And I don’t have to open up to anyone. I like to remain a secret, a mystery. I like to talk to myself, I like to play with myself and I enjoy my company. 

I live in my own world. A unique secret world which is outlandish and out of reach to most. In that impenetrable terrene, I can live as a poet, as a writer, as an artist, as a princess, as a ruler.... Hey, no!! I am not schizophrenic. (Well, people who are mad won’t admit it either, do they?) I prefer to call myself a day dreamer. Now don’t try to find out what went wrong inside my head. It’s just a manufacturing defect.

So you think that you are absolutely normal and I am mad? Look around.. Think hard. Haven’t you ever done anything inappropriate? Illogical? Have you always been abiding the hidden rules? Then I pity you.. You would be having the most boring life you can ever imagine. Most people are mad in different ways. If you observe closely, you can see some interesting bouts of madness in everyone. But they hide it well. We are all insane. Those who say otherwise are delusional. How can you dream if you are not mad?

One is always considered mad when one perfects something that others cannot grasp. Actually insanity and imagination are twins. They are the twin children of dreamers.  Just try being insane. It’s so much fun. You would realise what you missed all these years, and would think that you should have gone mad long before. As Aristotle said,  “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.”

Sleepless Whispers...

A date with midnight everyday is an ecstasy. Sleep and me were playing hide and seek right from my childhood. She hides and I seek. Persistently. Not even once she’s come seeking me. I still don’t understand why sleep always keeps a distance from me. Thoughts always prioritised. I dreamt lying awake. My mind begs my brain to stop thinking and allow me to sleep. But... it recollects all the stupid things I had done, and the foolish decisions I had taken and reminds my mind, and scorns. And the fight starts. Brain commands, Mind evades. Brain chides Mind cries. Brain scowls, Mind howls.

Going to bed is a nightmare. I lie down, and snuggle inside my blanket. My mind, then, slowly pops its head up, and starts to wander. Then it pokes my brain. And in a split second, my brain springs up... and starts teasing my mind. Yes, my mind has always been a fool. I had been lucky till late not to lose it altogether. But off late, I am not so sure. I would be counting the sheep, I would be singing to myself, I toss, I turn, I grumble, I mumble... 

Is it because I am awake in someone else’s dream that I am unable to sleep? I’ve read somewhere that if you can’t sleep, your soul mate can’t sleep either. So somewhere, someone also might be lying awake now? When and where can I meet you, my dearest soul mate? Are you out there somewhere, hiding from me? 1.00am monitors all my thoughts. 2.00 am knows all my secrets. 3.00 am gives me answers to most of my questions. 

And then leisurely, unhurriedly, sleep walks in. When it’s almost dawn.. like a punishment... leaving me with a heavy head, and a heavier heart....................