It’s such a long long time… My ink went on strike. Words flew afar. Thoughts crashed. Mind became standstill. I was worn out… the aftermath of a hard labour. I know not from where to start.. what to write… After the new birth, how can I be my old self?
There were some realisations… and some confusions… I had lost something… but gained another. Which one should I accept? I had loved .. not once, but twice… Shall I go after my love.. or shall I accept the love which came to me? I am happy in the knowledge that I am loved and wanted. No, I am not going to talk again about love.
Today I feel very contented. I had a long walk alone in the rain… and came back saturated. I shrugged off the raindrops and the hurt from my coat. The yellow flowers had bloomed and had fenced the roads. The mere picture of yellow flowers peeping at me makes me happy. It is impossible not to have a smile when you see those yellow flowers dancing in the wind, swaying their heads.. Yellow is the colour of sunshine, the colour of life.. It makes me feel cheerful and bold.
Some things I miss a lot in my life.. The sound of the train, the song of an unseen bird, the flapping of wings, the gust of water from the nearby tap, the tinkling of bells, the cacophony of nature, the creaking bamboos, the swish of an animal’s tail, the song from the temples… These were the morning alarms in my childhood.
For a long time, I had wanted to taste some pure fresh toddy straight from the tree. I had expressed this wish to my husband and cousins, but all were diplomatic in saying, “Of course you can’t!” I got a chance when we went on holidays. While we were roaming near a coconut grove, a friend’s father brought some fresh toddy in an earthen pot, with some seafood. To my untrained palate, it smelled repulsive at first. The fish was too hot. Tears flowed profusely, sweat trickled down my body, but there was no stopping me from sipping and munching. The toddy was sweet. Sweeter was the feelings which followed. I became weightless, and began to float in the air. All I had to do was to spread my hands.. and lo.. there I go… floating, flowing… The world around me was so beautiful… The people looked pretty. The water in the river was so inviting… I wanted to giggle all the time. I was amused when others tapped me on my shoulders and asked me to behave myself. What was wrong in giggling and laughing and floating when life is so beautiful? My intoxication came from inside me. I think toddy has an uncanny way of settling inside the stomach and fermenting there to form a potion that entices and seduces you.
I feel so happy to knock off my to-do-before-I-die list one by one. And I can’t wait for the next one……..
There were some realisations… and some confusions… I had lost something… but gained another. Which one should I accept? I had loved .. not once, but twice… Shall I go after my love.. or shall I accept the love which came to me? I am happy in the knowledge that I am loved and wanted. No, I am not going to talk again about love.
Today I feel very contented. I had a long walk alone in the rain… and came back saturated. I shrugged off the raindrops and the hurt from my coat. The yellow flowers had bloomed and had fenced the roads. The mere picture of yellow flowers peeping at me makes me happy. It is impossible not to have a smile when you see those yellow flowers dancing in the wind, swaying their heads.. Yellow is the colour of sunshine, the colour of life.. It makes me feel cheerful and bold.
Some things I miss a lot in my life.. The sound of the train, the song of an unseen bird, the flapping of wings, the gust of water from the nearby tap, the tinkling of bells, the cacophony of nature, the creaking bamboos, the swish of an animal’s tail, the song from the temples… These were the morning alarms in my childhood.
For a long time, I had wanted to taste some pure fresh toddy straight from the tree. I had expressed this wish to my husband and cousins, but all were diplomatic in saying, “Of course you can’t!” I got a chance when we went on holidays. While we were roaming near a coconut grove, a friend’s father brought some fresh toddy in an earthen pot, with some seafood. To my untrained palate, it smelled repulsive at first. The fish was too hot. Tears flowed profusely, sweat trickled down my body, but there was no stopping me from sipping and munching. The toddy was sweet. Sweeter was the feelings which followed. I became weightless, and began to float in the air. All I had to do was to spread my hands.. and lo.. there I go… floating, flowing… The world around me was so beautiful… The people looked pretty. The water in the river was so inviting… I wanted to giggle all the time. I was amused when others tapped me on my shoulders and asked me to behave myself. What was wrong in giggling and laughing and floating when life is so beautiful? My intoxication came from inside me. I think toddy has an uncanny way of settling inside the stomach and fermenting there to form a potion that entices and seduces you.
I feel so happy to knock off my to-do-before-I-die list one by one. And I can’t wait for the next one……..
5 comments:
A lively snippet coming straight from the heart,and wonderful to read too.Looks like you are now out of the woods with that silly infatuation called LOVE,and back to your old happy life with a healthy outlook.If the toddy experience is exhilerating,try a nice brandy in the very cool misty environs of the mountains,with the live sounds created by the denizens of the wild.You will never again come back to the concrete messes called cities.
Oh, so tasting sweet toddy topped your to-do-b4-u-die list ?curious to know... what next?I tried smoking a 555 recently :P and got to know a new friend called 'wheeze'.Atleast now I know my respiratory tree is narrow! Such experiences are not only thrilling, they are enlightening too.
Long time no blogging ,hasn't diminished your writing skills.Congrats ! The pause has brought out a different kind of whisper from you.
@Anonymous....
It never topped the list.. it was just one in that..
Am never going to try brandy or whisky again... Once is enough...
sarita,
i was wondering what was wrong with you?why did you stop writing?and now after a long gap,two posts in dec.good.
yellow symbolises friendship too.living on the lost love still gives you pleasure.the moments to cherish.
when we start choosing the right and wrong,more lakshman rekhas will be drawn....the right value for the month is gratitude.so,let's start showing the kind gestures.it will make a difference.
spread a smile and keep writing.
the image of a creeper plant caught up under a huge boulder, the search to get out to light and freedom. To be. How long will it take, will it happen, who knows. Perhaps had you been known to me I could have helped. Like the knight in arms saving the trapped angel. Have done that before. But no way.
That is my feel after seeing this blog. Last, your comment on Madhavikutty brings me hear.
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