I had been over-filled with dreams when I landed at the airport. But now I realise.. they were just dreams. There were no rains to splash water. My sweetheart wasn’t waiting for me with outstretched arms. My love went unanswered. My heart was crushed.. damaged beyond repair. I was helpless. The dreams I had been weaving right from my childhood days crumbled. I recoiled back inside my cocoon.
I was longing to meet him. But all I could have was a short glimpse. That too with the whole world around me. Why did he turn blind to my overflowing heart? Why did he turn deaf to my amorous heartbeats? Was I not worthy enough to love… and to be loved? The pangs of unreturned love is hard to bear. There are times when I wish I was silent about my inner passion. I cant stop loving him without stopping my heartbeats. It is 2.00am, and still I am wide awake… dreaming, desiring… I dream of him, near me, caressing, cuddling, caring… and then they scatter and shatter… I wont be able to get even a wink tonight. Thoughts of him crowd around. It is as if I’m with him, my head on his lap, feeling his warmth, his passion, his love…
No.. it has to stop. Not my love for him, but the expression of my feelings. It is time for me to take my emotions back, pack it airtight in my suitcase, and keep it deep under. I shouldn’t let it get away. Eventhough I love him deeply, eventhough I pine for him,I should never let it out again. Let me live in my own silence… Goodbye, my sweetheart… goodbye…
8 comments:
Godalmighty!!!Spending a summer in Kerala,you missed the kalavarsham so much......Imagine then the plight of us residents in this parched, God's own country.
Forget the kiss of the early morning dew drops and the quintessential romantic dreaming on a monsoon day,nor the childhood fantasising of the clouds and the hiss before a thorough downpour. Your lover has ditched not only you,but all of us living in the Mahabali country.
Very well written dear,and even the late Kamala Das could'nt have brought out the sensuality of the monsoons as you described in these few words.
Cheers to you and keep writing.
everyones love went unanswered...
Blessings....
Unrequited love is painful yet i dare say it is a blessing because truth be known to be with someone, live with them, that does not love or desire you in the way you the love and desire them is worst. Don't waste your time on would have, could have, if only's and seek someone that yearn for you the way you yearn for them, its more powerful, healing and spiritual uplifting.
Have a good week and stay blessed.
Ha,Ha
I can see the pain.
I can only see it.
I cannot feel it, because I am not you.
Pain is as unique as your DNA structure - no one else gets to know it, no one else gets to feel it, and (this is a private statement) no one gets to enjoy it as you do, because your pain is cut out for you.
See the comments! See the way people take a grab at your pains, to make it their own!
Everyone wants it, few get it, and out of the few who get it, far too few are fortunate enough to enrich their lives with it.
Look back.
If your pains have made you more complete, you were worthy of them.
God keep you that way, sweetheart!
Very good. It's right as rain!
പെയ്യട്ടെ
dear saritha,
hey,i think atleast once or twice a year your lover has staretd visiting the beautiful desert city!:)so,miracles do happen.yesterday,on ASHTAMI ROHINI DAY,when i was shivering with fever,i was longing for those raindrops.i missed the shower n very badly i needed them at the time of Kannan's birth.
beautifully written post.the unreturned love,is painful.still,we can love;that becomes selfless!
and i loved the image!:)
happy blogging!
sasneham,
anu
best compliments
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