I had been over-filled with dreams when I landed at the airport. But now I realise.. they were just dreams. There were no rains to splash water. My sweetheart wasn’t waiting for me with outstretched arms. My love went unanswered. My heart was crushed.. damaged beyond repair. I was helpless. The dreams I had been weaving right from my childhood days crumbled. I recoiled back inside my cocoon.
I was longing to meet him. But all I could have was a short glimpse. That too with the whole world around me. Why did he turn blind to my overflowing heart? Why did he turn deaf to my amorous heartbeats? Was I not worthy enough to love… and to be loved? The pangs of unreturned love is hard to bear. There are times when I wish I was silent about my inner passion. I cant stop loving him without stopping my heartbeats. It is 2.00am, and still I am wide awake… dreaming, desiring… I dream of him, near me, caressing, cuddling, caring… and then they scatter and shatter… I wont be able to get even a wink tonight. Thoughts of him crowd around. It is as if I’m with him, my head on his lap, feeling his warmth, his passion, his love…
No.. it has to stop. Not my love for him, but the expression of my feelings. It is time for me to take my emotions back, pack it airtight in my suitcase, and keep it deep under. I shouldn’t let it get away. Eventhough I love him deeply, eventhough I pine for him,I should never let it out again. Let me live in my own silence… Goodbye, my sweetheart… goodbye…
